FobiaSociale.com - Cocky& Funny - Cazzuto & Divertente (made in USA)

Cari colleghi, vorrei sottoporre alla vostra attenzione la seguente americanata, che ho trovato su internet un po' di tempo fa.
Si tratterebbe di una specie di ''corso di seduzione'' per pirla, o qualcosa del genere, scritto da un tizio americano (o meglio, da un'équipe di psicologi sotto mentite spoglie...) che vorrebbe convincerti (invano, spero!) a comprare il suo libro.

Siete avvertiti: per leggere quella roba ci vuole una certa dose di ironia (anche se il tizio che scrive, in fondo in fondo, si prende sul serio!) e anche un pizzico di senso del grottesco (specie riguardo a certi modi di esprimersi stile USA).

Tuttavia, al di là della forma al limite del ridicolo in cui il nostro teorico si esprime, penso che ciò che dice sulla seduzione ecc. tutto sommato corrisponda abbastanza alla realtà!

Vorrei sentire cosa ne pensate.

Buon divertimento (ah, dimenticavo, è in inglese):

I'm David DeAngelo, and I've spent the
last several years figuring out how to be
more successful with women and dating... and
helping other guys do the same.

I'm going to share MANY of the secrets I've
learned about how to approach women, starting
conversations, getting dates, and taking things
to a "physical" level easily and without
rejection.

I wrote a book called "Double Your Dating" a
few years ago, based on my own personal
experiences trying to figure out how to
attract women...

This led me down a several-year- long path
of learning, getting to know guys who were EXPERTS
with women... and finally testing and refining
what I learned to come up with a system that
WORKS.

Now let's get started...

"The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably
Make With Women" And What To Do About It..."

Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With
Women And How To Make Sure YOU Avoid Every One Of
These Deadly Common Mistakes...

MISTAKE #1: Being Too Much of A "Nice" Guy

Have you ever noticed that the really
attractive women never seem to be attracted to
"nice" guys?

Of course you have.

Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive
female friends that always seemed to date
"jerks"... but for some reason they were never
romantically interested in YOU.

What's going on here?

It's actually very simple...

Women don't base their choices of men on how
"nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do
because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION
for them.

And guess what?

Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that
powerful ATTRACTION.

And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.

I realize that this doesn't make a lot of
logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET
OVER IT.

Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on
it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that
you want.

MISTAKE #2: Trying To "Convince" Her To Like You

What do most guys do when they meet a woman
that they REALLY like... but she's just not
interested?

Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel
differently.

Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER
CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO
ATTRACTION!

Never, ever, EVER.

You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently
about you with "logic and reasoning".

Think about it.

If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in
the world do you expect to change that FEELING by
being "reasonable" with her?

But we all do it.

When a woman just isn't interested, we beg,
plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.

Bad idea. One that will never work.

MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her For Approval Or
Permission

In our desire to please women (which we
mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys
are always doing things to get a woman's
"approval" or "permission".

Another HORRIBLE idea.

Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men
who kiss up to them... EVER.

Don't get me wrong here.

You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to
like you.

But if you think that treating a woman well
means "always getting her approval and permission
for things", think again.

You will never succeed by looking for approval.
Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their
approval.

Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if
Wussy guys who chase her around and want her
approval annoy her...

MISTAKE #4: Trying To "Buy" Her Affection With
Food And Gifts

How many times have you taken a woman out to a
nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had
her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her
even HALF as well as you did?

If you're like me, then you've had it happen a
LOT.

Well guess what?

It's only NATURAL when this happens...

That's right, I said NATURAL.

When you do these things, you send a clear
message:

"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so
I'm going to try to buy your attention and
affection".

Your good intentions usually come across to
women as over-compensation for insecurity, and
weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I
said that women see this as MANIPULATION.

MISTAKE #5: Sharing "How You Feel" Too Early In
The Relationship With Her

Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most
men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too
early on.

Attractive women are rare.

And they get a LOT of attention from men.

Most men don't realize this, but attractive
women are being approached in one way or another
ALL THE TIME by men.

An attractive woman is often approached several
times a DAY by men who are interested. This
translate into dozens of times per week, and often
HUNDREDS of times per month.

And guess what?

Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of
men.

That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.

They know what to expect.

And one thing that turns an attractive women
off and sends her running away faster than just
about anything is a guy who starts saying "You
know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two
dates.

This signals to the woman that you're just like
all the other guys who fall for her too fast...
and can't control themselves.

Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.

There's a much better way...

MISTAKE #6: Not "Getting" How Attraction Works For
Women

Women are VERY different from men when it comes
to ATTRACTION.

You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.

When a man sees a beautiful woman
he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.

But does the same apply for women?

Do women feel sexual attraction to men based
mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?

Well, after studying this topic for over five
full years now, I can tell you that women usually
have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by
things OTHER than looks.

Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more
average and unattractive men with beautiful women
than the other way around?

Think about it.

Women are more attracted to certain qualities
in men... and they're more attracted to the way a man
makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.

If you know how to use your body language and
communication correctly, you can make women feel
the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you
that YOU feel when you see a beautiful young
woman.

But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how
to do this.

And ANY guy can learn how...

MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks

One of the most common mistakes that guys make
is giving up before they've even gotten started...
because they think that attractive women are only
interested in men who have looks and money... or
guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a
certain age.

And sure, there are some women who are only
interested in these things.

But MOST women are far more interested in a
man's personality than his wallet or his looks.

There are personality traits that attract women
like a magnet...

And if you learn what they are and how to use
them, YOU can be one of these guys.

YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just
because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome.

Let me say this again: If you know how to use
your body language and communication correctly,
you can make women feel the same kind of powerful
sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you
see a hot, sexy young woman.

MISTAKE #8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women

Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look
to a woman for approval or permission.

Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys
use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.

Said differently, guys try to get women to like
them by doing whatever the woman wants.

Another bad idea...

Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can
walk all over... Women aren't attracted to
Wussies!

MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each
Type Of Situation With Women

Now I'm going to blow your mind...

A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking.

Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than
men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.

I know, it might be hard to believe. But for
example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and
you want to kiss her, she knows it.

And if you don't know exactly what to do and
exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there
looking at her and getting nervous, she won't
help!

And this goes for ALL aspects of women and
dating...

Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking
her out, kissing her, getting physical...
everything.

If you don't know what to do in each situation,
you will probably screw it up... and LOSE
EVERYTHING.

And you KNOW it.

It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY
how to go from one step to the next with a
woman... from the first meeting, all the way to
the bedroom.

MISTAKE #10:

[L'ho rimosso, perché qui pubblicizza spudoratamente il suo libro]

Your Friend,

David D.

----------------------------

4 Traits Of A "Cool Guy"

>NOTE: Guys who are "cool" always seem
to have ladies in their lives. Why? Because
they do certain things DIFFERENTLY than
your average joe.

Here's Are 4 Traits Of A "Cool Guy"...

I get a lot of questions from guys asking all
kinds of questions about how to behave around
women.

In fact, this might be one of the areas that
guys want to know the most about.

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past
year or so about the concept of being "cool".

So what is a "cool guy"?

And what is it about a guy who's "cool" that
makes women feel more attracted to him than an
"uncool" guy?

Let me tell you a few quick mini-stories about
guys I've known who were UN-cool.

One friend I used to have LOVED to argue with
people. He would start arguments about anything
and always take the opposite perspective on every
topic. He did this with women all the time too. I
think he felt like he was coming across as smart
when he argued. Guess what? Women hated it, and
ran as soon as he started in. His guy friends
hated it too. He was UN-cool because his
insecurity was so strong, that he had to argue to
get attention.

Another friend I have always tries to do nice
things and favors for women he likes. As soon as
he meets a woman he likes, he tries to find
something he can do for her. Of course, he then
gets upset when the woman doesn't return the
feelings of affection... and he acts upset and
"taken advantage of". This, of course, makes women
run away. As you can probably guess, he's trying
to manipulate women with favors. And women resent
him for it. Women don't think he's cool, and they
avoid him.

I know one guy who loves to tell women how
beautiful they are, buys them drinks and dinners,
and pursues them with the "You're the greatest
thing in the world and I'm going to chase you
around and try to buy your attention". And even
though he's doing a lot of "nice" things for the
women he's interested in, he can't keep one around
for more than a date or two. Even his guy friends
think that he needs to calm down and act more
"cool" in general.

Now, all three of the guys I've mentioned above
have different problems... but the way I see it,
they're all strangely related.

Here are a few more quick stories about guys I
know who are "cool".

One guy I know always has girls around him. In
fact, I don't think I've ever seen him WITHOUT at
least one girl with him. Usually he has three or
four girls with him... and sometimes up to 10 or
12. He always makes fun of the girls, teases them,
and treats them like good friends who he's
comfortable enough to bust on. He's not rich, he
doesn't buy things for women, and he doesn't kiss
up to them. He DOES, on the other hand, make it
his business to know where the "cool" places are
in town, where to go out, and who to call for the
"inside track" on where the hot spots are. Then he
shows up at the door to these hot spots with five
women. EVERYONE who knows him thinks of him as a
"cool" guy.

I have another friend that is really amazing
with women. But he does something that's rather
unusual when he's around women. He kind of IGNORES
them when he first meets them. If he's out with
friends, and one of them introduces a female
friend to him, he'll shake her hand and say "hi",
then TURN AWAY and go back to whatever he was
doing. Somehow, the women that are around him
always want to talk to HIM. And all the guys he
knows think of him as one of the coolest guys
around.

Finally, I have one friend who literally says
things to women like, "You probably wouldn't like
me. I don't really have relationships with women.
Our relationship will probably go no further than
the physical..." If you've seen my Advanced DVD
Program, you probably remember him saying these
exact words when I'm interviewing him. He's so
calm and laid back around women that they have to
pursue HIM... and it happens a lot. He's
blunt, direct, and honest about whatever is on his
mind. He doesn't chase women, buy them things, or
smother them with compliments... and yet, they
love him. And he has a crew of guy friends who all
love him and think he's one of the "coolest" guys
in the world.

[...]

So what is it that separates the "cool" guys
from the "uncool" guys?

What is "cool"?

What is it that makes a few rare people the
kind of people that EVERYONE wants to be around?

What is it about UN-cool guys that repels other
people, and makes women run away?

And what is it about this element that I'm
calling "cool" that makes guys who have it attract
more women than they can handle?

THE DEFINITION OF COOL

I personally think that being "cool" comes down
to:

1) Being independent

2) Being indifferent

3) Being funny

4) Being socially adjusted

Before I get into each of these in detail, I
want to mention something...

Usually, I tend to stick to techniques to help
you meet more women, or give you advice to get
past limiting beliefs, etc.

I've realized recently that there are a few
BASIC, FUNDAMENTAL things that we, as guys, need
to really "get" about interacting with other
people before we start trying to learn advanced
stuff, like how to approach and meet women. If you
don't have some of the basic things handled, all
the fancy techniques in the world won't fix your
problem.

So stick with me here, this is important.

OK, so let's talk about the four components
that I mentioned above.

BEING INDEPENDENT

Independent is the OPPOSITE of "dependent".

When you act "dependent", you lean on others,
you look to them for approval, you ask what they
think before you make a decision, you tend to want
to stay physically close to them, and your
feelings tend to depend on what others feel and
think of you.

When you act INDEPENDENT, you lean back, you do
things because YOU decided you wanted to, you
don't ask others what they think - instead you
decide yourself, you are fine walking away from
your friends for awhile when you're out, and your
feelings are controlled by what YOU think, not
what others think.

A "dependent" person will go into a bar with
friends, stick close to them all night, ask what
everyone else is drinking before they order, get
upset easily about things that others say, and
constantly be looking for attention and approval
in some way.

An INDEPENDENT person, on the other hand, will
go into a bar with friends and be more likely
to... walk away and look around the place ALONE to
see who's there - and feel fine about leaving
their friends for awhile and striking up a
conversation with a stranger... They'll order a
drink if they want, or water if they want - and
not care what everyone else is drinking... They'll
be cool and calm no matter what happens - even if
others are getting upset around them... And, most
importantly, they aren't looking to others for
attention and approval. They're doing their own
thing, and enjoying whatever happens.

BEING INDIFFERENT

Most people in this world are ATTACHED to the
outcomes of things. They're constantly worrying
about what's going to happen... and talking about
the future in a fearful, uncertain way.

This type of person always wants to know what
other people think of them, and they're worrying
about what they should do so other people will
like them. Unfortunately, this almost ALWAYS comes
across as INSECURITY.

An INDIFFERENT person, on the other hand, just
goes about life and takes things as they come.

The indifferent person is INDIFFERENT to the
outcome of whatever situation they're in.

If it's a man, and he's approaching a woman, he
will be OK with whatever happens. If she's nice to
him, great. If she's uptight, no problem. If she's
rich, famous, and beautiful... and starts coming
on to him, fine. No big deal.

When you are ATTACHED to the outcome of a
situation, it makes you act all kinds of freaky.
You pause, act nervous, hold back, look for
approval, act insecure... and any of 100 other
unattractive things.

On the other hand, when you're INDIFFERENT to
the outcome, it makes you MAGNETIC. Especially
when it comes to women and dating. Indifference is
the ultimate way to show a LACK of insecurity in
life.

BEING FUNNY

Humor is magic.

It's a complete mystery why we find things
"funny" and why we "laugh".

Crying because someone died makes some logical
sense. It's a bad thing, and crying expresses a
negative emotion.

But when you see a dog run into a window
because he doesn't see it... and he gets a
confused look on his face, you LAUGH. What's with
that?

Humor is interesting to me, in that if you're
funny, it makes people FEEL GOOD inside. They
laugh, and it triggers positive feelings.

If you're not naturally funny, it's a great
skill to learn. Read books. Watch live comedy. Do
whatever it takes to learn how to be funny.

Most of the "coolest" guys I know are wickedly
funny. Some of them are only funny on occasion...
but they "get it"... and when they do make a joke,
it's DAMN funny.

BEING SOCIALLY ADJUSTED

I know that this sounds funny, but most of the
people I know who are "UN-cool" are not very
adjusted socially.

They lack a certain something in the "social
skills" department that makes it OBVIOUS to others
(and especially to women) that they don't know how
to relate very well to other people. They just
never learned how to make others feel comfortable
around them.

If you've ever known an accountant or computer
programmer that was brilliantly smart, but totally
boring, you know what I mean.

If people act kind of nervous, strange, and
uncomfortable when they're around you, then you
also know where I'm coming from on this.

I can't teach you how to make people feel
comfortable around you in two sentences, but if
you need to learn how to mix with people socially,
then start PAYING ATTENTION to what's going on
around you.

Watch how others dress, carry themselves, walk,
and talk. Pay attention to little details... like
saying, "What's up?" when you meet someone new,
instead of "Hello, pleased to meet you" and such.

...now, is this all there is to being "cool"?

Of course not.

But it's a great start.

If you can first get yourself to the place
where other people want to be around you just
because they enjoy your company, you'll find that
taking things to the next level with women will be
about 10 times easier.

I've had this conversation with MANY of the
guys I know who are successful with women, and
they all basically say the same thing... you have
to learn how to be "cool" and make others (women)
feel comfortable just being in the same room with
you. And if you're "cool", this happens almost
instantly. If you're not "cool", then you're going
to have a hard time making ANYONE feel comfortable
with you... never mind having a woman feel
ATTRACTION for you.

Even though I don't talk very much about this
concept (I will in the future, though), you'll
notice that many of the techniques you'll learn
from my materials will help you in a lot of areas
of your life... not just with women.

As a direct result of the things I've learned
about how to be more successful with women and
dating, I've ALSO become more successful at things
like being invited to "exclusive" parties, having
famous and successful people pursue me as a
friend, and just generally being invited into more
"exclusive" social circles.

Why is this?

Well, for one thing, people who know a lot of
"cool" or influential people are very careful
about who they "bring along" to gatherings with
friends.

The LAST thing someone "cool" needs in their
life is an "UN-cool" person making a jackass of
themselves in front of all of their friends.

When you learn the art of being "cool", you
start to attract other cool people. And those
people will see that you're not insecure,
emotionally unstable, clingy, and such. They'll
see that you know how to handle yourself with
other people (and with women), and they'll start
introducing you to other cool people (including
women) instead of running away from you.

[...]

So, want more great ideas on how to be "cool",
and how to meet and date more women?

Inside my fantastic DVD and CD programs.

[...] [... e vaffan......]

Your Friend,

David D.